Diane Landers' Testimony
God gave me a second chance at life. I was not raised in a Christian family, but I went to church every once in a while, said grace, and recited "Now I lay me down to sleep..." before going to bed. I'd pick up the Bible every once in a while, but I got sleepy every time I tried to read it. I went through my life living like most other people in this world do. I had opportunities to pursue Jesus, but chose not to. I did what I wanted to, but was never completely comfortable with the life I was leading. I know the Lord had heard my prayers as a child and kept me safe. But I didn't see that He could still love and protect an adult who had strayed so far away.
Knowing just a little but not a lot about "religion", I was an easy prey for a cult religion. And when I became engaged to marry a devout Mormon, I was easily persuaded to join his family's faith. My brother-in-law Tony (a former Mormon convert) has gone into depth what that experience was like, so I'll not repeat what he has already so appropriately explained. I will only say that the form of "Christianity" I was taught in this church really was not truly what the Bible teaches.
After much witnessing by my family, and mainly by my brother Rick, I became a Christian and decided to leave the Mormon church. At this time, my husband John claimed to have made the same turn-about in his life, and we (along with our two sons, Keegan and Kalen) began to attend a Christian church in New Orleans, which is where we were living at the time.
As a new Christian, the Lord began to show me a lot of things. First of all, He cares about me and everything about me. He desires to be my everything. He also showed me that He loves me. I learned that a life of holiness is wonderfully fulfilling. Now that Jesus Christ was my Lord and my Saviour, why would I return back to what I had once been?
But I was harboring a dark secret that even my family knew nothing about. I was living in a very abusive relationship. John was, from all outward appearances, a model husband. He was successful in his career, he provided our family with material possessions, we owned a nice home, drove nice cars, had two sons together, and everyone might have thought "Gee, they have it all".
But those who thought that didn't see what went on behind the scenes when the doors to our home were closed. They didn't see a manipulative man who dominated every situation, who frequently left his wife battered and bruised, who raised his sons to show no respect for any woman (including their mother). After years of living this way, I could no longer take the abuse and the pain. I returned to California and soon filed for a divorce. John kept our children in New Orleans. I thought they would be safe because if my husband had ever loved anything in the world, it was his two sons. I couldn't have been more wrong. Even I didn't realize that his manipulation, combined with his explosive temper, would lead to such a tragedy in our family.
Once our divorce was final, we then had to go through the process of a custody trial. We made one court appearance, and set a date for the final hearing. John returned to Louisiana with the boys, but in his own mind, he had already decided that the outcome of the hearing would not go in his favor.
One week after I said goodbye to my children in that courtroom, a neighbor in New Orleans found John in our bedroom. He had taken his own life, and the lives of our two sons. Both boys were found lying near their father, each having been shot through the head. Police determined that John had shot each boy in their own bedroom, and then carried them into his room where he then took his own life.
Upon receiving such devestating news, I never thought I would ever find peace with myself again. I never thought it would be possible to find a happy day again. My grief, sorrow and guilt was such that I didn't want to live. But the Lord, as always, was so close. He came to me that night in a way that I never thought possible. I knew for the first time what other Christians meant by finding a "peace that passeth all understanding". He filled me with a peace and a love so great, that I couldn't contain it within myself. He began speaking to me and leading me as if He was right beside me. And of course, He was!
I used to think, "I'll serve God when I get old". I am so glad that that didn't happen! Why is it that we want to give all our good years to Satan and then give the leftovers to God Himself? I used to think that serving God would be such a bore. How wrong I was! My life is more exciting than ever. I talk to God and watch Him answer prayer; God communes in my heart and leads me. I read the Bible, attend church regularly, witness whenever I can and work with children in the school where I teach. I am fulfilled in my roles as a daughter, sister and friend. I have made up my mind that I will NEVER go back to where my life once was. I will live my life for Jesus. In the best of times or the worst of times, I have no where else to go but to Him.
How many times have you wanted to be safe and protected from the storms of life? How many times have you just wanted to walk away from all that you are going through and walk into the arms of someone that will protect you and look after you? Allow you to rest your head upon their shoulders until you feel strong enough to go on?
As a Christian I have the privilege of having Someone that is always there waiting with open arms to welcome me and to wrap His arms around me and protect me and guide me through the storms of life. His name is Jesus Christ, my Lord and Saviour! I am able to feel safe and secure in His arms! You also can have the same if you are willing to open your heart and life to Him and let Him come in.
When the storms of life seem so bad He is always waiting there for me to come to Him. He wraps His arms around me so lovingly and says, "It's ok, just stay here awhile and rest. You are safe with me!".
If Jesus took a sinner like me and made me clean, He can do the same for anybody willing to renounce their sins and believe on the Lord Jesus Christ. Follow Him. Repent, and believe the Gospel.
These Scriptures have become the anthem of my life, and I want to share them with you:
And he hath put a new song in my mouth, even praise unto our God: many shall see it, and fear, and shall trust in the LORD."
Psalm 40:2-3
It's been a few years since I gave my life Jesus. I know that the Lord is calling to an even deeper relationship. He wants to give me more of His Spirit and provide me with more power to be able to live a more victrious life. It's a NEVER-ENDING story!
There's no way that I could ever convince you that Jesus is real. All I have is what I know and have experienced. As I said, it's been over a year now and it is still as sweet as the first day! I encourage you to keep on seeking Him! It may seem like an impossible journey, but when you seek Him, you WILL find Him, when you seek Him with your whole heart! (Jeremiah 21:13)
When I was first saved, someone told me that the Lord is the Potter and I am the clay. He can mold me and fashion me to be all that I ever dreamed of being. With that in mind, I close with a prayer that I have prayed every day since I first came to know Him. I hope my testimony will help to strengthen someone who finds themself in a similar circumstance that I was in. There IS hope. There IS Light at the end of life's darkest tunnel ... the Light is Jesus!
"Lord Jesus, I thank you for everything you've done in my life. Thank you for your sacrifice and your precious gift. Thank you for working in me and perfecting me, molding me into who you want me to be. I pray that you would continue change me. Use me for your glory and guide me in your will. I dedicate my life to you now and forever. All that I have, all that I am, all that I ever will be, I give to you. Now, Lord Jesus, hold me to my word."
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