MY TESTIMONY (by Kevin)
I grew up never knewing the love of God until this year. We were not a church-attending family, and although I believed in God, I never thought much about Him.
I've always thought of myself as a nice guy. I'm easy-going and try to get along with people. I've always been honest and hard-working, and it would kill me if I thought I hurt someone. I'm not saying I'm perfect, or even "too good". Earlier in my life, I got mixed up with some of the routine problems that young people experiment with today. In particular, drinking and drugs. I made a lot of mistakes in the area of friends, always gravitating to people who seemed to share my weaknesses. I've also struggled with depression for most of my adulthood (nearly twenty years now). I'm not talking about feeling a little sad sometimes. I often thought of suicide, but was too much of a coward to try it. Plus, I never wanted my family to have to deal with that.
To this day, I still don't know why I was always so depressed. I've had a good life. A family who loves me, a wonderful girlfriend, and a good job. I'm a long-distance truck driver, and maybe spending so much time alone on the road left me feeling lonely all the time. Even when I would be with others (family, friends, whoever), I always felt so terribly lonely.
I got involved with the internet last year, and some things out there are way beyond the borderlines of sin. Fortunately, the world of pornography was never one of my temptations! I enjoyed looking up things that interest me, hobbies and things like that.
One day, one of my fellow truckers and I were at our local warehouse and we got into a discussion on why God allows things like cancer and accidental deaths, especially to Christian people. That night I went home and got on my computer to look up Christian websites. I don't remember how I did it, but I got into a webring (something I wasn't even familiar with). Listed on their members list was a website called "New Jerusalem Ministries". I went to the site and was absolutely amazed at the wealth of information I found there. I had never seen anything like the things on this website. I read and read that night. I felt like a human sponge, just soaking in all of this wonderful news about Jesus -- again, something I was unfamiliar with. I always said I believed in "God", but Jesus was something new to me. I guess I associated Him with Christmas and Easter, and put Him on the shelf the rest of the year.
A few weeks passed, and I found myself returning time and time again to New Jerusalem. Brother Steve seemed to have the ability to know exactly what I was searching for. Each time I went in, another of my questions were answered. I know now that it was the Lord directing him. One night in a motel room in Texas on one of my hauls, I knelt and poured my heart out to Christ. It had suddenly hit me that this was not a game I was playing -- this was real life, and if I died, I would spend eternity in hell. I gave my heart to the Lord that night.
Instant changes took place in my life. For starters, I immediately called my girlfriend, who was back at home. We had lived together for a few years, but God really spoke to my heart about that. And I knew that for me to go home and continue living with her would be a sin still. So I told her what had happened to me, and explained why we could no longer live together. God had been dealing with her about salvation, too, for a few months. And she agreed that it would be best for us to live apart. But I loved Kirstin so much that I couldn't imagine my life without her. So I asked her if she would marry me the following weekend. And she said yes! When I returned home, I moved in with my sisters family until we were married.
Since that time, the Lord has poured out blessing after blessing on us. We have joined a church, have gotten a new apartment in a much better neighborhood, and have joined a Bible study group. And I have a new friend in Pastor Steve. I have sent him e-mails, prayer requests and questions. He has always been there for me, and I know that God is in the ministry and has made Pastor Steve available to all of us. He has truly become my "brother", in every sense of the word.
My story, though miraculous and encouraging, is not unique. What the Lord did in my life, He can do in anyone's life. I was "the very least" that He spoke of in the Bible. When I think of how differently my situation could have ended, I can't hold back the tears. Depressed, suicidal and empty inside, I now am a full heir to all of God's promises and blessings. While I was running, He was reaching down to me, and He caught me just as I was going over the edge. I can never thank Him enough for all He has done and continues to do for Kirstin and me. And thank you, Pastor Steve, for allowing yourself to be used as one of God's "angels unaware". God bless you always!
MY TESTIMONY (by Kirstin)
I have read all the testimonies written by my husband's family, and they make me feel so inadequate. I am not a good writer, and I probably won't express myself as well as the others. But I can tell you what the Lord has done for me, and how grateful I will always be to Him.
I am married to Kevin, the first member of the family to be saved. We had lived together for a few years, and although we loved each other, there was always something that seemed to be missing. I didn't know what, but something just wasn't right in our home.
Kevin, being a truck driver, was gone much of the time. And when he WAS there, he was always one of two things: drinking or depressed. And I didn't know how to deal with either problem. At times, the depression was so bad that his drinking seemed a blessing, because at least when he drank, he seemed to smile more. I had known from the beginning of our relationship that Kevin suffered from clinical depression, and that he often thought of suicide. It made me very nervous whenever he was on a road trip alone, or I would panic whenever he was late returning from the market or anywhere else.
Looking back, I don't know how I survived those years without having Christ in my life, and without even knowing the power of prayer.
One day, I ran into an old friend from my high school days, and she shared with me how she was involved in church now, and how the Lord had restored her marriage. Not being a Christian and just living together, I wondered somewhere in the back of my mind if God could help my relationship. But that's about as far as it went, just a thought. But I made up my mind that if his depression was no better by summer, I would move out because I really couldn't handle this anymore.
In April, Kevin was sent on a haul to Texas, and he called me one night and told me that he had gotten out his laptop in a motel room and had went to a website he had been checking into for a few weeks. The site was New Jerusalem Ministries, and on this particular night, he had opened up the Salvation Page and went to the Prayer of Repentance and prayed the sinner's prayer.
I could tell by his voice that something had changed. BIG TIME! For the first time since I had known him, Kevin was HAPPY!
The day he returned home, he prayed with me, and we began a new life together as Christians. He went to stay with his sister, and we were married within a week.
From that day to this, I have never seen my husband depressed. Sad, yes. He has lost his unsaved father (ironically to suicide) and suffered the loss of his baby nephew, as well as the devestation of his brother's near-death in the same car crash. But even with all of this, he has had no depression of any sort. He just takes his sadness to Jesus, and it's taken care of.
As a result, my life is far happier, and I've been blessed with a marriage that will last forever. We always said we lived together because we didn't want to ruin a good relationship by getting married. It's funny how many sinners use that tired old excuse to cover up their sinful lifestyles. But our love has been made fuller and richer since we were married. Our love now pleases God, and He rewards our obedience to His commands in that area.
In the four months since we came to know Jesus and invited Him to be Lord of our lives and Head of our home, we could never thank Him enough for His faithfulness to us. I pray that we will always be in the center of His will, and that He will use us in any way He desires. After all He has done for us, how could we EVER question Him now!
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